I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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