Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Randomize
