So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
