I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
