he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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