think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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