She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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