No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
