god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
