Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
