Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
