4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
