There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize