Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
