Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
