Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I need water and some morals
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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