i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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