Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize