Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
