if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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