It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
