No more Irish car bombs ever.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize