What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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