She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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