I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
