I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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