Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
