you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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