BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
