i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
