Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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