Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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