She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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