I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
