can we get nightvision for the apartment?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There r osticjed everywhere
I will pee on everything he values.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
