After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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