Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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