btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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