im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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