There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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