I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
