Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
