So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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