You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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