Just mADE A PArabola og urine
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
