I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
