Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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