absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize