Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
