you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize