Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
birth control should be required to get into college
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
