Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
