best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
