The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
