He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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