I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We were destined to go to rehab together
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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