You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You are a genius and a whore.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
