another moral hangover. fuck.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
