Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
