You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
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