piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
