Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
