Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
